Alternative Asian News TV Blog

3/10/12

WTF Fu King Chinese Restaurant

In early January of this year we discovered the very popular Japanese Fuckin' Department Store Sale. Then on the very next day we learned that Japan is Going Fuckin Crazy! And today one reader wrote in about this new funny OMFG discovery:

3/9/12

Chinese Military Multifunction Shovel Demo Video

As each day passes now we see more and more Signs of The Coming Apocalypse. Earthquakes, tornadoes, wars, radiation, economic collapse, solar storms, alien UFO invasions etc. all seem to be happening much more often now than ever before.

But fear not as today we discovered the one tool which could save the world: The Chinese Military Multifunction Shovel:

Be sure to order yours now! Available in camouflage green and other colors.

See also: Japanese TV 1994: Dry Ice Esthetic Machine Demonstration Video

3/8/12

DPRK's Female Soldiers on Women's Day

North Korea is undergoing some rapid changes nowadays! Just last month we discovered some North Korean accordian players in a spirited group performance of A-ha's "Take on Me." And today we found some DPRK female soldiers celebrating International Women's Day by marching in synch with Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun." Check it out:

Also we recently discovered that, in fact, Kim Jong Il Invented Photoshop! Furthermore according to our Japan-based illuminati insider here is the real truth about the song "Take on Me":

"North Korea is best Korea. This is the peoples song. This "group", a-ha, stole it from poor struggling North Korean peasants, who have sung it for the last 1000 years. It was suppressed by the imperial powers and just recently perfected."

Could the same be true about Cyndi Lauper and her hit song "Girls Just Want To Have Fun?" After all it is well known that both A-ha and Cyndi Lauper have never performed live in Best Korea! Coincidence? And don't forget North Korea's world-wide smash hit Fucking USA. Many viewers still write in asking about that video. The mystery continues.

Anyway, here's wishing all the beautiful North Korean female soldiers a very happy International Women's Day!

Related: Coming Soon: Battlefield North Korea

Conan O'Brien vs. Copycat Chinese TV Show 2

Via Team Coco March 5. 2012

Just over a week ago, Conan O'Brien discovered a blatant copyright infringement of his show's opening animation by a Chinese talk show known as “Da Peng’s Chatter.” Then Conan and his production team responded in a tongue-in-cheek comic style by showing the two opening sequences side by side and then claiming:

"What is that? That's insane. That's madness. And to make matters worse its a really weird show." And also "For years now China has been ripping off America with cheap knockoffs, right? ...Well China if you think you can rip off my show, I think I can rip off their show. And let's see how you like it."

Of course, the "Da Peng Chatter" team was watching and they did not get the "American Joke" so then they responded with this hilarious clip (click "CC" button for subtitles):

To which Conan and his team responded with this comic clip:

Well, it is said that "Comedy brings people together" so perhaps this comical exchange will continue. Let's hope so.

Also watch how Taiwan's Next Media Animation TV pokes some fun at the Western world.

3/7/12

Iiniku Ushijima Photo by Julie Watai

From the cover of the I LOVE TOKYO Anison Compilation Album, here is a beautiful fine art photograph of Hardware Girls model Iiniku Ushijima (NSFW) by photographer Julie Watai:

3/5/12

WTF Cherry Sexual Harassment Space

As the reigning world champion superpower of WTF, Japan has defended its coveted title yet again with this sign for the "Cherry Sexual Harassment Space":

So WTF is this?!?!?

It is a sign for a cabaret club in Tokyo, Japan.

WTF is a cabaret club???

In Japan a cabaret club or kyabakura キャバクラ is a place for men to go and talk with young girls, engage in excessive drinking and sing KARAOKE. Much like hostess clubs, cabaret clubs are expensive and do not allow customers to engage in sexual activities with any women inside of the clubs. Outside of the clubs it is a different story altogether. Also, within the past few years or so, jobs as a hostess, club girl or male host have become more desirable as they have evolved into a higher social status level. Now there is a trade union for employees and besides who wouldn't want to make six figures a year by having fun?

Miura Atsushi, a market researcher and author defines the cabaret club as a “theme park of traditional gender roles” that allow men to relive the past when women were not so educated and independent and less likely to complain of "sexual harassment" in the workplace or at home. Here men can get as drunk as possible, yell, scream, blow off stressful steam and be treated like a king. Thus clubs like this one thrive within the modern-day Japanese society.

Mmmmkaaaay... So does "having fun" in Japan include being sexually harassed? This is not easily understood and if this whole thing is still somewhat confusing, perhaps the below ~~google translate~~ Engrish description of this cabaret club in Tokyo may help to explain it all better:

"It soon becomes warm and cold even irresponsible way everyone Thank you for visit us last night ☆ 彡毎 Sun! It will be filled with-feeling ('· _ · `)"

"Everyone greet the beginning of the week in such a feeling! Our shop is sure to warm the retainer body and soul) Tashitashi (~Tsu (No~e `*)) Lori Kawaero 彡激 studded Girl ☆ let go in too hot tonight of course! ! It just does not end'll (● ^ o ^ ●)? ? What it is All Time \ 3000.OFF and miss something when Nana Nana ('゚゚ A `) Uyoyoyo loss today, the absolute loss (_'Д` _) ☆ it is determined to Cherry (* ^ ^) v "

For more information visit the website of the Cherry Sexual Harassment Space. (Japanese only)

To see more pictures and a historical perspective on this kind of cabaret club check out these articles ‘Cherry’—sexual harassment company in Japan of course and Tokyo Gropers School.

See also:

Japan's Blow-Up Doll Pro Wrestler: Yoshihiko

Photographer Hal's WTF Japan Plastic People Photos

3/3/12

Japan's #1 Forever Alone Musician

Today we are very honored and delighted to bring you Japan's #1 forever alone musician/one man band - the wacky, good-humored and truly wonderful Mr. Funny Tombow:

What can you say? You just got to love him. Especially because he is playing and singing for the Japanese Earthquake/Tsunami relief fund of the Japanese Red Cross.

Be sure to see more videos of the great Funny Tombow. And don't forget to visit his official website. (Japanese and English)

Note: This talented musician is only forever alone in the above video. In the parks and streets of Tokyo, he is very well liked and always draws a good-sized crowd.

See also: Forever Alone Karaoke in Tokyo Japan

3/2/12

New Julie Watai Photo 3-3-12

From the new Hardware Girls Magazine here is another new photo of one of Japan's hottest gravure idols - the one and only Julie Watai:

China China China China China China China

This video says it all:

Related: China

Conan O'Brien vs. Copycat Chinese TV Show

Via Team Coco February 27, 2012

Recently it was discovered that some wacky Chinese TV show blatantly copied the opening sequence from the Conan late night talk show. Well funnyman host Conan O'Brien did not appreciate that at all and quickly responded with this:

See also: Ha Ha Ha America by Jon Daniel Ligon

3/1/12

Buddha Statue Photo by Jon Sheer

Here is a stunningly beautiful Jon Sheer photograph of a Buddha statue outside the Wat Traimit temple in Bangkok, Thailand:

Source: jonsheerphotography.com via Jon on Pinterest

Be sure to see more of Jon Sheer's HD Fine Art Photography.

See also:

Thailand Travel Video (Tilt-Shift)

Bangkok's Grand Palace Travel Video

2/29/12

New Julie Watai Photo

Just released earlier today here is a new photo of everyone's favorite Japanese maid/electrical engineer/photographer/songwriter/singer the very talented and beautiful Julie Watai:

Don't forget to get your copy of Julie's new Hardware Girls Magazine.

Related:

New Julie Watai Hardware Girls Magazine

Julie Watai Electrical Engineer/Maid Photo

2/28/12

Hoàng Khai Nhan Chinese Fisherman Photo

Here is a very beautiful night time photo of a Chinese Fisherman by Hoàng Khai Nhan:

XXX Large size

See more photos by Hoàng Khai Nhan.

See also: Somewhere in Southern China...

2/26/12

Sacha Baron Cohen & Kim Jong Il's Ashes @ The Oscars

Via BreitBart.tv February 26th, 2012

Ryan Seacrest: "Is coming to the Oscars one of the best perks of whatever it is your job is?"

The Dictator: "Yes I love it here because it gave me an opportunity to bring my dear friend and double's tennis partner Kim Jong Il. It was his dream to come to the Oscars and to be sprinkled over the red carpet and over Halle Berry's chest again. The funny and the interesting thing is actually..."

He was warned. But he did it again! Tonight at the Oscars Sacha Baron Cohen appeared on the red carpet as the "Admiral General Aladeen" character from his new movie "The Dictator" and did this:

Yup! And that was real security that muscled him away. Below is the official trailer for the upcoming film "The Dictator":

Related: Banksy - The Antics Roadshow

2/25/12

Why, China Why? Because China #5

Earlier this month, we once again asked the unanswerable question of "Why, China Why?" for a picture of some Chinese guy using a jackhammer on the street in his flip-flops! But we did get one good answer from Mr. T who wrote in that "Japan can never hope to beat China, the masters of hi-tech." And that kind of explained that.

However today we find ourselves asking once again "Why, China Why" with the discovery of this new photo:

If you check the source of this pic you'll see a caption with "6. Also among other healing procedures in this resort there is attaching of walnuts to the eyes and putting on fire dried leaves of Chinese wormwood which are placed in the ears of patients."

Mmmmkaaay...but again WHY, CHINA WHY??? And once again we arrive right back at the same exact answer "Because China."

Related:

Why, China Why? Because China

2/24/12

High Level Asian Ping Pong by GakAttack

Here is an exciting video that features some very high level Asian ping pong by Toronto's very own short filmmaker GakAttack aka. "Yung Lee." Lee is a young and upcoming Chinese-Canadian director and actor. He has gained quite a following through his very clever, funny and action-packed videos. After all he is GakAttack and his "life is action-packed." Check this out:

Some of Lee's more popular shorts include Jedi Ninjas Ft. Team2X and the fantasy fighter Epic Anime Time in which he went to Anime North 2011 and took cosplay to a whole new level! All of his clips are very well produced and feature some incredible stunts and special effects. Be sure to stay tuned to GakAttack.

See also: Indie Japanese Sci-Fi Short "Source"

2/23/12

Coming Soon: "Dead Sushi" Japanese Movie

Here's a new preview trailer of an upcoming movie from the maker of The Machine Girl, Robogeisha! and Karate-Robo Zaborgar. AV and theatrical motion picture director, screenplay writer and actor Noboru Iguchi is about to release a new movie entitled Dead Sushi. From watching the trailer, this flick appears to be another classic B-film that looks scary, sexy. fun and funny! Check it out:

NOTE: This trailer is NSFW and NSFL (not safe for lunch).

Find out more about this movie at the official website "Dead Sushi."

Related: "Jiro Dreams of Sushi" Trailer

Is Jeremy Lin Really Ask A Ninja?

No doubt by now you've heard all about basketball sensation Jeremy Lin. And his popularity keeps soaring with so much Linsanity going on! So far he has made the cover of Sports Illustrated TWICE (2x)! He's been on the cover of Time Asia magazine and the cover of Time magazine with the headline story "It’s Official: Linsanity Is for Real." He's an Evangelical Christian and was a leader in Harvard's Asian American Christian Fellowship. He wants to become a priest and has talked about helping out underprivileged kids in inter-city communities after his basketball career. It really seems as though Jeremy Lin just cannot do anything wrong.

Or can he?

Today we discovered the below video which has raised some serious questions about Lin and the world-renowned comedian Ask A Ninja. And, most likely, this is the most serious one: Is Jeremy Lin actually the funny, black-comic guy known as THE NINJA? Also is his real name actually "Jeremy Linja?" Watch this video closely and let us know what you think:

Other questions: Did you notice in the above thumbnail pictures that Lin's Knicks jersey is the exact same color as the background for The Ninja? Did you ever notice that The "Ask A Ninja" Ninja and Jeremy Lin have never been photographed together?

Well, Mark Twain said it best with “Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”

See also:

Japanese TV Slam Dunk World Record Video

China's Operation Yao Ming